What Lies Beneath...

The couch cushions.

So, I knew I had a little bit of a problem when I dropped the remote in the couch cushions and stuck my hand under the cushion without looking and came back with NO HAND!!! Hahaha not funny I know. The truth is much worse than what I originally anticipated. In fact, I’m pretty sure irrefutable proof of vortex’s of space and time can now be proved through my couch. How else could all of this random crap landed in one place? Here is what was under my seemingly innocent chenille, neutral, easy living cushions…

Pretties (as my two year old daughter calls any piece of jewelry)
ABC puzzle pieces, I think hid there in a moment of weakness, I was sick of nicely stacking them in the box only to have them dumped out again.
A fuschia colored pencil with the tip broke off (daughter probably ate it and hid the evidence)
3 hair ties, now when I want to pull my hair up I’ll know where to look
A comb, that I vaguely remember removing from my "bump" and stuffing in the couch just as my book club members arrived
Dominoes
A krispy kreme free donut card now expired. How could I let such a precious commodity go to waste?
A parrot on a stick
3 snickers wrappers, granted some were "fun" size
A green eggs and ham game piece, someone was totally cheating
A baggie with some crumbs probably cracker
A heart pencil, for writing love notes
Kleenex or what my husband refers to as my disgusting "snot-rags" allergy season was particularly bad this year
A purple tea-party spoon
2 Twix wrappers I don’t eat Twix, so not my fault
A M&M’s wrapper, just remember I was pregnant for 9 months not too long ago
A pink tea-party spoon
A Blue rubber band, I didn’t know I had colored ones
An ad for Good Housekeeping, probably should have renewed that one, maybe it would have provided a good solution for my problem
A wooden circle, daughter is learning shapes
A felt heart, see above
2 All natural fruit snack wrappers, at least it’s not all chocolate
Milky way wrapper, dark chocolate, yummm
Chicken bone, don’t worry the plastic variety
Another purple spoon, now we can have a tea party
A Clothespin
Bubbles small kind that we got at the fair that used to say "Jesus Loves You"
The handle to my dresser, I’ve been looking for that
Legos
The stuffed insert to my bra, I won’t be lopsided anymore, I guess that day I was feeling optimistic
A crayon, the twisty kind, my favorite
A business card for plant world with a 20% off coupon
A band-aid carrier
A magnetic letter u, That stands for U really need to clean the couch more!!!

Okay, so that’s it. I bet you can guess my project for the day. Thankfully my love seat has attached cushions so nothing can be hiding there, otherwise I’d probably be missing for a few days as I attempted to clear away the rubble.
And don’t worry because if you come to visit in the next few days you will not disappear in the couch, I am correcting the problem right after this, my official recorded statement. So, what’s in your couch?