Pants on Fire

I dream A LOT, vividly and incredibly detailed. There are no limits, bars or method to my madness. I gave up analyzing them. I gave up writing them down, too disturbing. I gave up trying to prevent them. However, one thing I really wish I could give up are the reoccurring dreams. Variety is the spice of life. If I'm going to have wacko dreams at least let me embrace the craziness and not have to deal with the mundane. SO, among the handful of reoccurring dreams, which I may share with you at a later date, the most often is this...
THE TEETH DREAM (you may even have it too)
The dream where your canines, molars, incisors, and whatever else is in there, all comes crumbling and falling out of your mouth one-by-one in a bloody drool pool that cause you to choke. Whereby you wake up gagging, spitting and vowing to brush three times or more a day with extra flossing.
I used to think this meant one of two things (this is before I gave up analyzing.)
1)The dentist was using his magic powers to summon me to his drill. (Can you tell I have a little phobia?)
OR
2)My body was lacking calcium (I don't like milk) and this was it's way of telling me to chug the white stuff.
HOWEVER-
My friend LC informed me I AM WRONG. What it really means is...(drum roll please)
You are a...(extra suspense)

LIAR!!!

I immediately scoffed, rebuked and hummpphhed. I am not a liar, I'm really bad at lying and then I read this article (sorry no reference I read too much and can't remember what magazine it was in) that said you were a liar if you...

-sucked in your gut to appear skinnier
-told your kids their "pet" went to the farm
-informed someone you liked something, even if you did not, just to be nice
-downloaded music/movies/whatever without paying for it
-copied out of book
-left your 16-year-old self's weight on your drivers license
-wore colored contacts, a padded bra etc
-don't tell your age
-said your day was going good, even when it wasn't
-didn't answer the phone even though you were home

on and on and on and on

Guess what? I am a liar, a big fat one, with my pants on fire, hanging from a telephone wire and ALL. But at least you now know the truth!

So, what's your "lie?" And don't even say you don't lie or I will curse you with the dream.